Posted by Anonymous on 2013/11/12 under Uncategorized I was in love once for three years in fact, and 4 years of struggling with my feeling of letting her go, forgetting, moving on, or going after her, confessing, shying away, and just a turmoil of emotions. 7 years she has occupied my mind for good and bad. She is not the one for me is what i am telling myself so that i can move on easier, she has been in so many relationships since 6th grade up to our senior year of high high school and I want a long lasting relationship so even if she is single, again, i wouldn’t go for her because even though i long for love, i am not desperate enough to go into a relationship where i know my heart will be broken, because heart break is something i fear the most out of anything and yet love is the thing i want more than anything, though loneliness is something i also fear and sometimes my fear of loneliness comes very close to surpassing heartbreak to the point where i buy a rose at a dance, or run to her apartment ready to confess, and yet i end up throwing away the rose or walking away in the rain. Now the only thing that will help me move on is if i find someone else to fall in love with and i thought i found her..many times, but they all have boyfriends, and I am close friends with some of the boyfriends or acquaintances with them. I just need to find that girl before i end up with some girl who i know i have no future with and am only with her because of her looks or because i couldn’t find anyone else. I am on a search for the one and yes i know and have been told that i will be waiting for a long time and i have waited for a long time well i’m just a senior but ugh the wait seems like forever, i mean it’s not like i don’t have friends to keep me company it’s that i can’t seem to find that girl and all of my crushes aren’t the one and i don’t want to go into some relationship for short time happiness, because it has long term affects and these people who i used to care about a lot will either ignore me or it will be awkward to hang out with and i don’t want that i want to keep my friends, i have been to point where i hated love that was when i met the girl i thought was the one, i still remember that moment, but now i am going back to that point of hating love, wow such a contrast, and maybe just maybe i’ll find the one like this, but really i don’t to meet her when i hate love just maybe content with loneliness which is what i have been trying to do for 4 years now…where are you my love < that sounds way to cliche…